FBW: What I Learned From My Fat Mother By Amy

FBW stands for Featured Blogger of the Week. Each week we will feature one of our calendar ladies or gentleman. Mondays will be a post written by the FBW and Wednesdays will be an interview of the FBW. If you want to know how you can be a part of the Blogger Body Calendar project, please click here.

My mother is both a cliche and original. When it comes to cliche, she is the woman who got pregnant the first time she had sex, had a husband leave her for the younger secretary, the blond knockout who gained weight.

But she is also an original. When, at the age of 26, she was single (after getting rid of 2 terrible husbands, one who is my dad (and he is and always been a great dad, but only recently a good husband to his 5th wife)) with 3 children under 6, she became a success. She worked at the post office, even after being bluntly told that women don’t belong there, and worked her way up the ladder to become a postmaster. She raised 3 successful children, and now lives, retired and happy. with her partner an hour outside Portland, OR.

I learned a lot from her. How to be tough, how to survive, how to work, how to be a woman. But I also learned from her what it was like to be fat.

My mother wasn’t always heavy. I have her prom dress, and currently the only person I know who can fit into it is my 11 year old daughter. It wasn’t even having three kids that did it. I recently saw a picture of her with her friends in the mid-70′s, with Farrah Fawcett bangs, wide lapels, and cigarette in her hand. She was beautiful. But health issues, the stress of her job, and the stress of being a single parent helped her pack on the pounds. And at 5’4″ she didn’t need many to look overweight.

I am so grateful that she was.

A woman who is overweight does not accept the model size, and you learn quickly that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. She does not purchase fashion magazines, so I was not exposed to the unrealistic images that those publications put out. She does not allow hurtful words, because she knows how they sting. Therefore I learn not to use them. She never was a at a loss for someone to take her out, so I realized that she was still beautiful (and she was). I learned that food can be a comfort, a sign of love and caring, but an enemy. She taught me that diets don’t work, but instead to appreciate healthy food.

My mother never came to terms with her body, and she lived a stressful life. She did have gastric bypass, and lost a whole bunch of weight. I am happy for her, but I can’t help mourn the woman who taught me to have a healthy body image by never fully coming to terms with hers.

I think you’re beautiful, Mom.

I started this project because I believe every woman should be in love with herself just as she is.

Amy is Ms. September and the creative force behind the humor blog Accidental Musings.  When she’s not ranting, she’s a professional blogger, owner of the startup Social Pollen, and the creative force behind the Blogger Body Calendar. She live in Maryland with her two children, three cats, and black lab Oreo.  She calls herself the Queen Of Inappropriate, Princess of Randomness, and the Duchess of the Non-Sequitur. Trust me, once you meet her (look at here event page here) you’ll understand why that tag line suits her to a tee.

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