Repost: Nudie Pictures By dummies

We are reposting some favorite pieces from the last six months as we wind down the Blogger Body Calendar project.  A crowd favorite was Dumb Mom’s first piece for us.  She is our Ms. May.  When she’s not being outsmarted by her three small dudes, she’s a professional blogger, freelance writer, and a photographer who reluctantly lives in the boonies of Western Maryland.

Positive body image is something that I have struggled with considerably in recent history.

As someone who grew up thin, I never really thought about what I ate or how I looked in a swimsuit.  I pretty much knew that if it was my size, it was gonna fit and probably look pretty friggin’ awesome at the same time

Until 10th grade.

That was the first time I remember thinking anything at all about my body.

And, I can’t blame boys, or my mother, or my creepy uncle for it either.

It was Ms. Stephens, my 9th and 10th grade history teacher who set off the I’m-fat bomb in my brain.

She, in an effort to be nice I imagine, informed me, that I’d “slimmed down a bit through the tummy” during the summer.

I smiled and said thanks.

And, then I slipped back to my desk to replay the whole scene in my head.  I came to the conclusion that I’d “slimmed down” meant that a) I used to be fat, b) that I possibly still was, at least somewhat, and c) that I could probably stand to shave off a few more lb’s.

Don’t ask.  I have no idea how the mind of a teenage girl works (apparently Ms. Stephens didn’t either).

But, I spent the next 3 years hating my belly and dressing like a Snoop D-O-double G to hide it.

My gangsta-boogie-phase was followed by a brief period in college in which I spent most of my days in a midriff bearing top-a requirement for coolness-regardless of the fact that I thought my belly was “weird”.  I spent countless hours at cardio-kickboxing, hip hop dance classes (which I sucked at), and step-aerobics in a futile attempt to lessen the weirdness.

I had just begun to get over the whole thing when I got pregnant with #1, gained 65lbs., and doomed myself to a life of dieting.

A life I hate.

A life I’m rarely true to and always ashamed of.

A life that would normally make posing in a semi-naked calendar an impossibility.

Until now!

When Amy approached me about the Blogger Body Calendar (after Marymac had already sorta spilled the beans!), I was momentarily hesitant.

Hesitant because my body is a wasteland.  It’s lucky to be exfoliated, shaved, and/or moisturized on a regular basis, let alone photographed.

Momentarily because I quickly convinced myself (and my leery of pretty much everything husband), that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Playboy is not exactly knocking on the doors of overweight, moms who blog (but maybe they should be!).  Not that I’ve always wanted to be in Playboy.  The thought has honestly never crossed my mind except for that one time in college.  But, being able to be a part of something daring, and innovative, and worthy has.

Which is exactly what this is.

Plus it’s for a good cause.

So, I put away the granny panties (temporarily) and the negative self image, and replaced them with my sexy ruffled pair and an uplifted chin.

And, now that I’m like 98% committed to this whole thing I’m on a crusade.  To convince people that everyone should be photographed nude and I’m not talking about the my-boyfriend-said-he-wouldn’t-show-anyone-but-they-are-totally-on-Facebook photographed nude.

Here is why…

1.  You’ll feel AWESOME!  Definitely not before, probably not after, but with the right photographer, you’re guaranteed to feel pretty Dita Von Teese-alicious during your photo shoot.  Everybody deserves to feel like that at least once in their lifetime.

2.  Your husband/boyfriend/whatever will like it.  Maybe not initially, and maybe not outwardly, but he’s gonna think they’re hot when he sees them if only because of the confidence boost it gives you as a result.

3.  You will get over yourself.  Things that require you to put vanity aside, like childbirth and getting naked in front of a stranger, usually require you to stop taking yourself so seriously.  It’s hard to get all hung up on the particulars when a random guy is pointing a camera at your girly bits.  You’ll have to let go to make it work because no one wants pictures of you naked puking all over the set.

4.  You can make new friends.  At least I am.

5.  You will love yourself more when it’s over.  Getting over a fear, whether it’s a fear of heights or a fear of letting people see your belly bag is an empowering thing.  I’m not going to lie and say that my photo is going to actually show my belly bag, but I will say that someone, not related to me by blood or by marriage, had to see it to make this whole thing possible, and that, friends, is saying A LOT!  I’m not 100% over the fact that my body is not how I’d imagined it would be at this point in my life, and I’ll probably always want to be more fit for health reasons, but I am to the point in my life where I’ve come to appreciate the fact that the important people around me don’t obsess about my back fat or my cankles and maybe I shouldn’t either.

  Copyright protected by Digiprove © 2011 Social Pollen, LLC