FBW: My Story of Survival by Allison @ Alli ‘n Son (Ms. January)

Please welcome back each of our calendar bloggers as they join us for another week as the featured blogger of the week (FBW). This time they are sharing stories of survival and photos of the strong women in their lives. If you want to know how you can be a part of the Blogger Body Calendar project, please click here.

We were at the door to my apartment, kissing. Frantically. At the top of a narrow flight of stairs. We couldn’t even wait to get inside. He was the boy of my dreams. A not-so-secret crush from junior high school. It was my junior year in college.

I’d been crushing for a long time.

It was late. Way past bar time. I suppose it was actually early. Like 3:00 am early.

Truth be told, we’d been in this situation before. Not exactly the same, but similar. We had a brief history that summer. Nights of flirtation building to an evening. One evening. With some rather fuzzy details.

But this night it was different. Pressed up against the wall, I knew that didn’t want a repeat. I didn’t want to go any further. I was done with it. My long-time crush was over, because like most never realized loves, the reality didn’t stand up to the dream. I knew his history and I didn’t want to be a number.

I’m not a number kind of girl.

I tried to move away. To stop the frantic kissing. To wish him good night. The details are missing, but I remember an uneasy feeling settling in as he didn’t get the hint. As he tried to go further.

I remember breaking away. And I remember being grabbed by the wrist, painfully, and moved back to the wall. Pinned there. Trapped. Not violently, but with strength. More strength than I had.

I remember my mind racing, trying to figure out how I would get out of this situation. Wondering how I let myself get into this situation.

This all happened in the hallway. At the top of a narrow stairway leading to the door of the apartment. It was my junior year in college. It was the first time in my life that I felt scared, trapped and afraid that I couldn’t get away.

My friends saved me. One roommate and one life-long friend. Maybe more, I’m not sure. They came in the door. They walked up the stairs. They created enough of a distraction that I was able to break free. Move away from the wall. Follow them into the house. And even then he insisted, tried to sweet talk his way into the door.

But I closed it. I ended the biggest crush in my life.

I don’t know if I was in real danger. I don’t know how far it would have gone or how forceful it would have become. This guy, who even to this day I see from time to time, is a family man now. Wife. Kids. Home. But when I see him, I still think of that night. I still think of who he was in our college years.

And I still feel uneasy.

My friends protected me that night. They didn’t know it as they first walked in the door, but they knew it when they reached the top of the stairs. They helped me get out of a situation I had lost control of.

Ms. January, Allison can be found on twitter @Alli_n_Son and blogging at  Alli ‘n Son.